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Epiphany

I made a decision. It just happened tonight. Okay, no; I’ve been thinking about it for a while. I decided that on some level or the other I’m going to start writing again. Writing as therapy, because I’ve been depressed. I no longer am, but I don’t want to go back there. So this is where I’m going to be letting off steam. I don’t know if I’m ever going to share these words with the world, but this blog is going to be a journal for me. I’ve never been one for new year resolutions you see, but I’m making changes very steadily. I don’t want to watch the story unfold from behind the scenes, or even from a prized seat in the audience. I want to write my own story and actively too.

So I had an epiphany, and I’m taking the plunge. I’m going to live the rest of my life one fun step at a time, loving and cherishing every single moment; because life is too short to be spent waiting for tomorrow.

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I AM NOT AN OBJECT

Eyys sexy! Baby, fine sister, pretty girl. Talk to me now…

Baby I like your eyes. My angel

Psst! Psst! Angel, Chichi, Jessica, Angelina…..

Answer me na, Is it because I’m calling you?

I just got back from lunch at his and boy was that something. On my way there I was cat-called.

“Baby girl come now, let me take you”

“Fine girl, what’s your name?”

Excuse me? Do I know you?

The only thing I did to warrant this was to walk in the street, of course. That is  just a fraction of what we face as females going about our activities. Pulling, touching, inappropriate comments, sometimes stolen gropes, all for?

Lots of us get this every single day; under the bridge at Ikeja, beside Tejuoso, at Balogun market, anywhere we go really. In fact, a few months ago, I was walking in the street at night, untarred and full of potholes so I was moving cautiously, looking for food with L and some guy goes “Look at how she’s walking, as if she doesn’t fuck”. Like bloody hell? How in the world is that even a thing that can be said to anyone?

When will this behaviour become unacceptable? How can I walk in the streets without being harassed? I don’t even want to hear shit like “they’re just admiring you now” or “they’re not serious” because whether you realise it or not, those are part of the flames fueling female objectification.

Here it comes, another feminist about to bash the men.

If you are one the men harassing women you don’t even know on the street, then yes I am bashing you. Shame on you. You were raised better than that. If you are one of those playing it down with your “it’s just bants”, shame on you too.

We do not want to be cat-called or groped on the bus or marketplace. We just want to go about our damn businesses in peace and comfort. Maybe you’re right about one thing; we want, maybe even need that occasional admiration. But from our lovers, SOs, husbands, boyfriends.

Not from you, the stranger in the street. Leave us alone.

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So it’s 2016….

I just made the foulest stew I have ever tasted.

Happy new year folks.

I declared 2016 the year of lists, but i haven’t even got round to starting any of them. Well, I’m starting my year with a cookout at the man’s place (I hope you have the food ready boy!). I just got a phone call and one of my lists is going to involve keeping in touch with people. You know how you never scroll through your contact list except on Christmas or New year’s to send out broadcasts? Well that has got to stop.

I need to take my health more seriously. I ditched the NTC and Nike Running last year for very trivial reasons (NTC changed their UX and I hate running). Of course I suffered for it, My waist is back to 35 and my butt is well, now a butt. My skin suffered the worst breakout of my life; which is saying a lot considering that my SS1 acne earned me name calling. I started drinking more than 2 litres of water daily and I must say apart from the constant peeing, I’m doing really great.

I wasn’t protecting myself enough in 2015, I was way too careless. All of that is going to change.

School has fucked me up way too much. I mean, I’m not going to brag but I know that I am way more than the grades I’ve been getting. This year, it’s time to #SeizeTheAs. This is mostly motivated by the fact that after working at a big IOC, I don’t think I can do anything less on graduation and I need the grades to match. I have my work cut out for me. Like my dad has been singing since year 1, I need a schedule. Maybe, I’ll post it here for accountability.

I just read this piece and man am I fucked! In the past six months, I made received more than half a mill and I can’t properly account for it. Worse still, I have only managed to save a little less than 20% of it. Am I ashamed of myself? Yes. Can I honestly change? I’m working on it. We can do it together. Check this out.

My hair must be healthy, if I start hating it; I will have the courage to cut or loc.

Piercings. Maybe.

That’s all for now, I’ll update as necessary. I have some food calling my name and cookies to bake right now, so toodles.

 

 

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The Innocents

Today is the day on which the church commemorates the mass murder of male infants aged 2 and below by Herod the Great in a bid to prevent the riding of one who will become “King of the Jews”. According to the gospel of St Matthew, after Herod found out that the wise men had left without giving him the location of the baby Jesus, he ordered that all male children from newborns to 2-year olds be killed.

This occurence is usually forgotten in the midst of all celebrations (except by the Orthodox churches) and it is one we can learn a great deal from.

These children were innocents who suffered for the greed and power-hunger of one man. In my opinion, they were the first martyrs; too young to have any faith, but killed for the sake of Christ anyway.

Their murder was seen as a shortcut to solve a problem- eradicating all possible contenders for the throne. Now I’m not going to discuss this wickedness; but I will make a small digression. In our country today, a new policy has been put in place which will stop Nigerians from using Naira cards to process transactions denominated in Forex. In a nutshell, small businessmen, international students, website owners and even mere Kobo shoppers will face great difficulty in making payments. This new policy has been attributed to the shortage of foreign currency; but is also a means of curbing financial crimes.

However, it seems like nobody considered the effects this will have on everyday citizens, “the Innocents” if I may. Now, I’m not about to compare this policy to the slaughtering of small children in Bethlehem, but just like those days; people are going to suffer a great deal. Is there no other way? 2016 is already looking like a tough year.

We can commemorate the Holy Innocents by taking a moment to reflect on any rash decisions we have taken which hurt others a great deal. We can also appreciate the treasures we have in the little ones around us; they may cry too much, dribble a lot of spittle and even poop on expensive clothing, but they are the hope of our world.

 

I’ll end with a quote:

“Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.”

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Twenty Fifteen

This is a cliché post; but what is the end of the year without one? This year has been all kinds and all shades, but it’s about to end and like the human that I am, I’ve been reflecting.Can I summarise my year? No, but I will try.

2015 was a year of new beginnings; what with starting a blog, rekindling an old friendship and getting an internship.

I started this blog/journal as a way to curb my depression and express myself to something/someone out there. I think it would be fair to say that I’ve failed on those two points. Well mostly failed. I have been terribly inconsistent with putting down anything. I did have a short burst in which I wrote a poem?? (still not sure what it is). That piece was probably the realest expression I made this year. On the second point, I have found ways of curbing my depression, not without crying a few tears though. But it’s all good.

I think I had the best birthday and Christmas this year. My family grew and I got to meet most of the new members.

I am thankful for this; especially since we could have lost one of us this year, but thank God for His mercy.

Did I mention that I found a big source of inspiration in this space? And I got to meet the owner in person?

I’m very anxious about next year, it’s going to be a big year for me; my final year of undergraduate study, a new phase for my partner and the year in which I will definitely drop one dress size.

I don’t make resolutions; but 2016 will be the year of lists, that I can tell you.

I don’t have a conclusion for this post, maybe I’ll re-write later.

 

 

 

Posted in Thoughts

I AM THAT GIRL

I am that girl.

The one you see in the street,

Begging for spare change;

Crying, I have nothing to eat.

I am that girl.

Too scared to speak up,

Afraid to accuse my brother;

Who is really my abuser.

I am that girl.

Ashamed to make my order,

“Water will be fine, thank you”;

While suppressing my hunger.

I am that girl;

Loving with all my heart,

Baring my soul, my body;

Yet, I’m just one of the others.

I am that girl.

All you see is my smile,

My composure.

If only you could see my tears.

Yes, I am that girl.

Maybe you are that girl too?